some days it's like i hardly know you. like i hardly ever knew you. you're so distant. i know you're hiding some things from me. and this feeling inside of me, i can't bear to be without you. i can’t think of this life without you, my friend. my only friend, at some points. my closest and most true friend of friends. my everything. yes, you’re still my everything.

some days i feel so conflicted. why do i love you the way that i do? guys? girls? you? how can i possibly fathom these feelings, these emotions? it’s getting hard to breathe as i lay here crying, thinking of what to say to you. honesty is the best policy, but how do you tell your best friend that you’re still in love with him? me. being who i am. you. being who you are. and us being the way that us will always be—deeply in love.

some days i know i have to tell you. someday i will, i suppose. but today i will hide the thought away in a corner of my heart. the part where only i can see it, cherish it and hold it. a delightful secret. a secret of love, tears, happiness and pain. nothing new, i am aware that love has been all of these things long before i came along. but good, nonetheless. it will carry on long after i am gone, and that makes me sad, but happy, in that weird way that it should or shouldn’t hurt me to see you smile.

who knows what tomorrow might bring. for us. for me. for you. for us as us will always be. like repetition the sounds are lodged in my memory, never to be lost or let go. just like you will never be lost or let go inside my heart. for i truly love you, no matter what happens, or has happened. no matter what i feel, or should feel, or don’t feel. no matter what—i will be here for you. take it or leave it, want it or not, but in my mind we will always be us.